Friday, November 16, 2012

No More Hostess with The Mostest

The rumors are true: Hostess is shutting down.
If, like me, you grew up in the 1970’s, the demise of the Hostess brand should come as a pretty hard blow.
In the great green room of my childhood memories, Wonder Bread looms large. The gummy, bland white loaf took on mythic proportions in our house. It was the only acceptable sandwich vehicle, and it figured prominently in nearly every lunch of my youth.
In honor of all those gooey fluffer-nutters and Miracle-Whip-drenched tuna sandwiches, I’ve composed a little farewell tribute to the junk food of my youth (with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown):

In the great green room, there was
A yellow log, a frosted swirl,
A treasure of sweets and
A little girl

There were three little eclairs sitting on chairs
And two little ring dings and a pair of  ‘zings
And a donette and a crumb cake and a loaf full of mush
And an ingredient list to make doctors blush

Goodnight Twinkies
Goodnight Drake’s
Goodnight processed little cakes

Goodnight Yodels
Gooodnight HoHos
Goodnight to the workers declaring their woes

Goodnight Wonder
Goodnight Bread
Goodnight baked goods that last past we’re dead

Goodnight room
Goodnight swirl
Goodnight memories of that little girl

Goodnight Ding
Goodnight Dong
Looks like your shelf life wasn’t really so long.


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