Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Faux-Cacia

Spoiler alert: rotten puns ensue. Consume this post at your own risk.

The Tuesdays with Dorie baking group is back, this time with Foccacia – or faux cacia, as my family likes to call it. This seems appropriate, since I was feeling rather inauthentic when I basically used the bread as a palette for pizza toppings.

With a 24-hour resting period, the recipe at first appeared a bit faux-midable. But as a master-baker of bread, I thought I’d be able to rise to the challenge.

My Kitchen Aid was not much help with this one. After a minute of unbeatable motor-churning noise, I folded. The nascent focaccia dough and I had a brief en-counter, and after ten minutes of manual manipulation, the mixture succumbed un-dough by touch.

Fast forward to day two. After the rising and resting period, I realized I had a lot of dough on my hands. And on my shirt. So I divided two of the balls in half to make a total of four smaller breads, and I pitched the third dough ball into the freezer. Then I changed my shirt.

The only creative opportunities with this bread arose from the thousands of available toppings. If I were a menu-author, here’s what the final master-pizzas would be called at my restaurant (which of course would be rolling in dough):
  • The Salty Tree: Fresh herbs, olive oil and lots of sea salt
  • The Halitosis: Roasted garlic, sundried tomatoes, herbs, olive oil and salt
  • The Big Fat Italians: Meatballs, mushrooms, and a cheese blend of asiago, Parmesan and parmeggiano reggiano – one with homemade marinara sauce, one without (kids’ choice).
I completely mist the point of the steaming instructions, which called for spraying down the sides of the oven three times. It seemed like knead-less risk in the heat-maintenance department, so I chose a more temperate path.

Early in the baking process, I simply hurled (hailed?) some ice on the floor of my ancient oven, hoping that sooner or later I’d commit enough appliance crimes to warrant investment in a new oven. No luck. The oven, and the bread, weathered the storm.

Though it was heartily gobbled by all (who’s gonna’ squawk at fresh bread?), this recipe was somewhat faux-gettable.

For the full recipe, visit Sharmini of Wandering Through or buy the book.


12 comments:

  1. Oh, you are just too punny...
    It took me a while to figure out the "black mouth cake", but I think I have now been forewarned!
    Your breads do look tasty though

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  2. I like the names for the menu :) It's a toss between the first two for me! I had to physically hug and hold my KA when mixing the dough, despite the fact that I had split it in half.

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    1. I often find myself wanting to hug my KA.

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  3. Spoiler alert: Loved your post! Very funny. Loved the naming of pizzas....and of course all your puns! Still giggling!

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  4. Haha, very punning! I think the spraying softens the crust so it rises higher, or something. I particularly liked the Big Fat Italians topping.

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    1. And -- just guessing from your username -- you'd prefer your Big Fat Italian smothered in sauce?

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  5. Looks good! I would eat at your restaurant. :)

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  6. I like the Fat Italians, but you don't want to make them mad! Ha! What a great post and love your puns. Your various focaccia's look and sound great!

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    1. Good thing I didn't have an anchovy version, or I'd be sleeping with the fishes.

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  7. Great post. Love your play on words.

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