Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Six Signs You’re Turning Into Your Cat

It was just a matter of time before I submitted to the supreme will of the Internet and started posting about my cat...
There’s been a lot of speculation about whether or not pets take on the personality of their owners, but I think in my case, the reverse is true.

Slowly but surely, I’m turning into my cat. (But not a werecat: those are scary.)

Let me introduce you to Wolfie: he’s a black, 8-year old, short-haired domestic who just joined our family a couple of months ago. Wolfie and I spend lots of time in the house alone together, so it’s only natural that we should influence each other's behavior.

Still, I’m concerned that I might actually be morphing into a feline. Here’s why:

1. During the day, all I want to do is nap. I’m good for about an hour or two of productive work – whether that’s exercise or laundry or cooking or writing – and then I’ve had it. My entire being is yearning (yawning?) for sleep. Just give me half an hour, and then I’ll be human again. Mostly.

2. I usually want to be left alone, unless I need you to scratch my back. I’ll curse a blue streak at anyone who comes near me when I’m trying to rest, or anyone who – heaven forbid -- tries to talk to me when I’m watching Idol. Just leave me alone, thanks. Unless you can reach the Lubriderm over there…

3. Dental floss is my new best friend. Really. I found a new brand, and my gums have never been cleaner.

4. I prowl around the house all night long. Between practicing for Jazzercise classes, scrubbing the pots, and straightening up after the kids, who has time to sleep? Good thing I did all that napping during the day.

5. I’m starting to crave fish at every meal. This could mean that I’m breaking feline, or it could just mean that spring has finally arrived and I’m ready to eat lighter meals. You decide.

6. My night vision is getting better all the time. I’m now able to sense the moment before I’m going to kick the cat in the dark. Somehow, that still doesn’t stop me. And that stealth laundry basket is another story.

On Wikipedia, there’s actually a name for the shape-shifting process: feline therianthropy. If it’s on the Web it must be true, right?

What do you think? Should I invest in my own scratching post and some catnip toys, or should I just stop spending so much time on the Kitty-Interweb and start interacting with the real world?

And what about you? How much do you have in common with your pet? I can’t be the only one who worries about this kind of thing. Do tell, in the comments below.

But I'll have to get back to you later. Right now it's time for my nap.

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