Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Surrender.

They look cute, but don't be fooled.
I've faced off against my perpetual enemy, Italian pastry, and I've lost.

I'm admitting defeat but I'm taking a stand.  I've had it with those anti-butter, anti-flour cookie fascists. From this point forward, I'm swearing off Italian desserts. I WILL NOT EAT A SINGLE AMARETTI.

At least not one that I bake.

Because my amaretti are truly atrocious.

I tried to make friends with this recipe, I really did. I chunked up the almond paste, eggs and sugar, and piped my little heart out, giving them a friendly pat with a wet finger, and a tiny chocolate chip peck for good luck. (Somehow I knew that investing in pine nuts would be a waste.) I had my doubts, but I baked on in good faith. Really I did.

Apparently the almond paste I used had an arsenal of it's own sugar, because the cookies I baked came out of the oven ready for battle with my teeth. They were helmet-hard and cloyingly sweet -- brutally mocking my attempts at a truce. After one bite, I knew the Jewish-Italian cultural cookie divide could not be breached. An entire plate of amaretti -- trashed.

This TWD recipe was enough to turn me off Italian desserts forever. Except maybe for cannoli. I'll take the cannoli.


Weapons of cookie destruction: plastic bag for piping, scissors for snipping the corner off the bag, and Rollerworks ruler (acquired at a birthday party circa 1987) for ensuring consistent size of cookies.

Other bakers fared better than I did, it seems. To learn more, check out their posts at Tuesdays With Dorie.

6 comments:

  1. I can't imagine what happened. Mine are not hard at all. In fact, I thought they were pretty magical. You didn't use the entire egg, did you? That's the only thing I can think of. Sorry. :-(

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  2. So sorry about your amaretti! They actually look lovely…I don’t understand what would have made them so hard.

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  3. I too will never give up cannoli. (But I do like these amaretti too!)

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  4. Oh! not sure what happened with yours. Sorry it didn't work out. Mine turned out ok - just not to my taste.

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  5. Sorry these did not turn out for you. I enjoyed them. Can't win them all. There are more recipes out there, that I am sure you will have success with, and enjoy yourself.

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  6. Weapons of cookie destruction :-)
    Hey, you win some and you lose some. I know I have had my cookie tray of shame on more than one occasion :-) (But I will never give up eating Italian desserts - especially if they are made by the right hands...).

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